Monthly Archives: December 2015

On December 27 Jan and I will celebrate 35 years together and as a testament to those years our Christmas tree reminds us where we started and what we have come too.

Thirty five years ago a young fresh out of school girl came to work in my rather very young company of flowers. Eager to learn and to be a part of something new, little did either of us know that our lives would be forever together.

As our talents grew so did the time She and I would spend together, long days and weeks turned into a friendship and a good understanding of each other. One day after working on a major event Jan thought, with the first free Saturday in June we had off that summer it would be fun to have a picnic lunch, she would select the meal and I the location. For me this was easy, find a beautiful garden, something we both loved. I decided The Elizabethan Rose Garden in Hartford Ct. It was a beautiful sunny morning I got just the right wine and picked Jan up with her picnic basket and headed off to the garden. We had a wonderful time and she made my favorite meal, fried chicken and everything that goes with it. I never thought that our lives  together would be in a garden from then on.

Well as they say, shortly after that we fell in love and I asked her father for her hand in marriage. Smartest thing I ever did. Because it is Jan’s beauty and grace with loving care that keep the family together.

We choose December 27th because it was a down time in the business and gave us time to pull things together. When someone tells you creating your wedding day is easy, do it yourselves, don’t listen!

I wanted to give her a wedding gift that would remind us of the day yet something that wouldn’t become dated looking with time. While out on a last business buying trip in October, it came to me, sense her birthday is on Christmas an eight foot Christmas tree fully decorated in glass ornaments would be the perfect gift.

Well it snowed the night before the wedding covering everything in white. The morning of our wedding was sunny and everything sparkled, but it was very cold, as I remember my breath frozen in the air around me.

I can still see her on her father’s arm coming to me at the altar and I remember that kiss, I had placed lots of misletoe and white orchids with white roses and babies breath all around the altar.


Over the years she been there giving us two beautiful daughters, she planned all the family meals and trips she cares for all of us when we are ill, she cheered on our success and comforted us in our lesser hours. She saw to it that the family animals were cared for, and always stood by my side in the flower company keeping the books and designing when needed. All along the way we would purchase ornaments to remember the moments, we inherited many as well and our tree has become generational.                                                                                                                                                              We now have a tree that can’t hold all of our ornament but each year we choose the ones in the moment that touches our hearts more. It take me four hours to but our tree up and every moment is filled with the wonderful and loving life I have with this beautiful strong woman, that puts up with me and the grandchildren.                                                                                                                                                                                                   Jan 35 years ago I gave you a tree and you have filled every bough with your love for us.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Anniversary!

I love You with all of my heart♥

I woke to an overcast morning that looked very gray. It was a little later than usual, having had a series of early morning dreams.

I showered and got dressed for the day and after a light breakfast and a walk in the garden, I picked up my email and made my list of to do’s for the day. As most of my days are full of things to do.

This morning however seemed off, I didn’t feel like anything mattered whether things got done today or tomorrow it just didn’t matter. Now, this doesn’t happen to me, my days always start with my feet on the ground and running, there’s always a to do list. But that wasn’t to be the case for today.

I thought maybe some writing would help, that comes easy for me and it sometimes gets me thinking about things. All I could think about was a day alone and the quite it brings, now don’t get me wrong here, quite days aren’t a bad thing, but for some reason this was a lonely one.

My thoughts wonder and I hear things I’ve never noticed before. The quite of the day started to consume me. I was becoming very reflective and felt some fear, that somehow I was not allowed to do this, that a day alone filled with mindfulness wasn’t a good thing.

I tend to be all up in my head from time to time, so I reminded myself of that. I remembered that I had a few books to read and thought this was a good way to fill a quite day. As I started to read, I just couldn’t stay focused and became frustrated with myself. So I thought maybe I would finish a garden drawing design I was working on, then found myself just sitting at the drawing board thinking of everything but the drawing.

I wondered what was going on with me? Where was my day’s motivation, why were my thoughts all over the place?

Then in one quite moment of thought, as I sipped my coffee, it came to me, like a quite small whisper, let go – fly – it’s OK, so I lied down of the living room rug facing up, as I did as a young child. I let my thoughts go, I choose not to drive them but to just be aware of where they would take me.

It started with fears and flew through the clouds, brought me to tears and laughter out load. I rounded some mountains and swam in a sea. I saw family and friends some living some dead. I relived some sorrow and regrets and studied some hopes and some dreams. Time stood still and no longer existed. What seemed like forever, when it came to an end. I took some deep breaths and stood to my feet, I was a little light headed but felt well.

A day alone, feeling like nothing got done, what a waste I thought.

My day alone did however accomplished on thing, I learned how to fly again and to reconnect with me and all that I am. Maybe that a day in thought was the medicine I needed, it reminded me that it’s OK to be me. I am stronger and less fearful of thought. It opened my eye’s to the things I needed to see so that it is clearer as to where I need to be. That the rhythm of sounds that surround me is my world.

Thank – you for allowing me to share my day alone with you. I ask that you don’t read anything into it other than, it’s just who I am.

A thought; Except who you are, and be who you are, and be the best you, you can be.